After 2 hours of chat roulette about 90% of conversations began like this

Me: Hello

Partner: u r girl? 

Me: No

Partner: r u gay?

Me: Sorry, no.

Partner: then y u long hair

Me: I like having long hair

Partner: fuk u

Partner has disconnected. 

I’m going to explode

WD-40 THIS, WD-40 THAT, WD-40 EVERYTHING. brb starting motivational anti-teen slam band called WD-666. LUBRICATING YOUR HINGES WITH BLOOD

buying fruit loops @ your moms house. In b4 grammar nazis correct to “you’re”. Implying that I am a house. And that isn’t good for my self-esteem 

lol

liamspaynisandharryballz:

My Ramones Shirt :) in honor of Harreh

DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT THE RAMONES IS A BAND ARRRGHHHHH SO MAAAAD

Probably most aggressive song EVER. Yet, calmest solo ever. Therefor song is neutral. Oh god, Varg. You are batshit qwazy. 

Put on pants, took out garbage and removed pants. It twas a good day

It’s like food for your ears, except it’s not as painful as shoving corn-dogs up your ears. ye. 

GODDAMMIT SHOWER CUTAIN, STOP HUGGING MY BUTT. I kno u luv me but we wer nvr ment 2 b. brb investing in anti-butthugging shower curtain tech right now. 

Looks like my High School prom pic. Like 100% gpoy.

When you die in your bed at the ripe age of 67 and realize you haven’t done your homework and dishes. GODDAMMIT KILL ME NOW

GODDAMMIT ICEBERG SALAD STOP TURNING INTO A BLOCK OF ICE IN THE FRIDGE ARG NO SALAD SO MAD. y god y

kushxgoth:

real talk, my dick is bleeding

Mine is also expelling fluids, tears and alcohol. 

Thinking of Mass Effect so hard it hurts, oh Qwib Qwib i love u so wery mooch. #Crying into the toilette